"Oh wise and lovely wendy,
My ex-fiance was a bit of a piss-midget and ended up leaving.
Even though I know he's horrible - I still love him!
Why? What if I never find anyone else? Is it not easier to hang on to the hope that he'll change his mind and come back, rather than go through all the 'meeting new people, first date, second date etc'.
What if the new people don't want to stay either?
From Miss Havisham-in-training"
Dear Miss HIT,
I know darling. It hurts. It feels like someone has just reached into you and started pulling out the little pink squishy bits that you need to live. You had your whole life planned out, and sorted, and suddenly it's as if you've landed on the "Back to the start" sqaure on the boardgame of life. People tell you that you have to move on with your life, but the don't understand - he WAS your life. It sucks, right?
But let's think about this for a minute. If he does change his mind, is this really the kind of guy you want to be with? As a wise man once said, don't forget this is the same guy who looked at you, everything you are, and everything you had togther and said "meh, not for me." Because, my dearest, you are awesome. You are fantastic, and pretty, and lovely. And you are so fanatastic, that if a man is stupid enough to not spot it the first time round, he is not worth a second chance. You could wait around for him to test the water and realise that, yes, after all, you the best thing that could happen to him... But let me tell you, I've never enjoyed the waiting game.
Meeting people is hard though! You have to dress up, talk to new people, try and be witty.. My goodness, it's so much effort! Or... Let's look at it a different way. You get to dress up when you go out, for no other reason than to look and feel great. You can talk to whoever you want, flirt as much as you like, without feeling bad. You can be the best of your sparkly self, make new first impressions. And, the best thing? You get to go on dates, get those butterflies in your stomach when someone you like starts talking to you, and you get the excitment of shiny newness! First kisses, first dates, first time they meet your friends... You have all these things to look forward to! Yay!
And at the end of these new happy first things - there will be a man who looks at you, and thinks, "Wow! I'm with YOU and you are GREAT!"
This is why I dont believe you are a Miss Havisham - you are a Miss HIT! And I just feel happy for the male species that a gift like you is back on the market.
The Fabulous Wendy.