Give Us Some Credit!

“Dear Wendy the clever, clever frog,

I’ve been seeing this guy quite consistently for a few weeks now, but recently I went on holiday for a week. We had no contact while I was gone, so I sent him text when I got home just to let him know I was back. I never received a reply, but three days later I bumped into him in the street, and he told me he was so happy I was home, and the only reason he hadn’t texted me back was because he didn’t have any credit. He asked if I want to meet up sometime.  I mean, that’s ok, isn’t it Wendy? Not having credit is a good excuse for not being in contact! I don’t want to be one of those clingy girls who demand attention constantly. What do you think?

From the Lady-In-Waiting”

Dear Lady-In-Waiting,

YAWN!!!!!

I am so so SO tired of this excuse – “I didn’t have any credit”. This is clearly the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard. Let me ask you something Lady – have you ever seen a text from a guy that you really liked and thought “Damn, I don’t have credit… Guess I will just have to wait until I see them in the street!”

Obviously you haven’t. When you hear from someone you’re excited about, you may: attempt (and usually fail) to wait a couple of hours before replying so you don’t seem too eager; spend a couple of hours constructing an intelligent, humorous, and off-the-cuff sounding answer; panic that you don’t have credit, contemplate using a friend’s phone, realising that would be a little silly, and go online to get some credit. You don’t wait THREE DAYS before attempting contact.

The trouble is, guys (and girls, I’m afraid) use this excuse ALL THE TIME. And it is wearying. Why do we think that it is a valid excuse? Especially these days, when most people have access to the internet and therefore either have the means to send a facebook message, or, here’s a thought – top up their phone online!

In the space of three days, a man might need milk, a newspaper, cigarettes, juice, bread, a book about planes, a pen, logs for the fire, coffee, eggs, shoelaces, shoes, a notebook – the list goes on. And if he has needed any of these things, he has gone to the shop. A shop where, incidentally, you can buy phone credit. If he is unaware of this fact, he is not fit to own a mobile phone.

If a guy says he didn’t text you because he ‘didn’t have credit’, he is essentially saying “Sorry darling, you’re not worth turning my computer on, or taking the 20 metre walk to the corner shop.” Which means he’s not worth another second of your time or energy.

With love,

An Exasperated Wendy.