Saturday, 5 March 2011

The Wanderer Returns

Hello my beautiful ones! My apologies, I have been off being fantastic for the past few days, and I have neglected you! I hope this post makes up for it - we have a follow up from the foxy lady who was abandoned by her foolish boyfriend...

Dear Wendy:

HELP!! I don't know what to do. I read your advice and i was determined to close that page of my life forever. But then i check my facebook profile and Sandy wrote something on it. I will put his words here

"Dearest dearest Flore. I'm so so sorry! What can I say? I've been a complete idiot..
I went to the airport to catch my direct flight to the isle of man - I didn't tell Jenny because I wanted to suprise her.. I had a terrible time checking in. The man behind the desk didn't even look at me, and served everyone else first!
Anyway, I went to the bathroom, and as I was washing my hands I happened to glance in the mirror, and saw to my shock that there was NO REFLECTION. Well, naturally I panicked and assumed I was a vampire. So in order to keep you safe from the evil that I had become, I decided to change my flight, and fly to deepest darkest Peru.
Of course, as I was changing my flight I remembered I was invisible, not a vampire, and felt like a moron. But then I started thinking - Flor deserves better than a moron. Flor deserves better than an invisible boyfriend. I thought about all the times we had gone out for dinner and the waiter thought you were on your own, or all those times we went to the cinema and people tried to sit on me, and I felt so ashamed!
So i ran anyway. I knew you wouldn't listen to me, so i thought the easiest thing for us both was if I disappeared (no pun intended) completely. I didn't even tell Jenny Elliott where I was going because I knew she would tell you, or try and get me to come back.
Of course, after 2 months, I realised that now I've met you, life isn't worth living without you. I know you deserve someone you're not ashamed to be seen with in public, but I realise that should be your choice, not mine. And if you tell me to leave, that's fine. But I will do anything it takes to get you to forgive me Flore.
Because... I love you.

What i'm going to do?? I really love him but i think that you are right in some point. I'm not answering Sandy until i receive your advice!
Please, i will be waiting!
From Lady-In-Waiting"
Dear Lady-In-Waiting,
My goodness gracious, he's come back! Well, that is a good start.
But let's not forget, he left. He may have left under special circumstances, but none the less, he left you, and made you feel rejected and upset. NO ONE is allowed to do that to you and get away with it.
But like I said, he's made the first step, and your choice now is whether you will accept his apology or not. I think the first thing you have to do is question his motivation for coming back and professing his love.
The problem is, that usually, a disappearing man's pattern of thought looks a little like this:

It's possible (and I'm afraid to say, probable) that this stupid man sees you as his fall back girl, the easy option, the one who will always be there for him when no one else wants him. And then, next time he think he's got a better option, he will just leave again.
And as such, you should be with someone who sees you as the top prize.
So how do we know if your man is for real, that he means what he says? If he really loves you, and thinks you are the one for him, he will make an effort. If you're worried that he's only coming back to you because you're the easy option, then don't make it easy. He knows what he's done is wrong, so he should know that he can't just walk back into your life. He has to earn your trust again, and your love.
So don't accept his first apology. Don't accept his second. If he keeps waiting for you, and telling you he wants you - in short, if he keeps trying to win you back, even though it's HARD - then you can start believing what he's saying. If he makes big gestures, is willing to talk through problems and listen to how you're feeling, and he wants to do everything he can to make up for his HUGE MISTAKE, then I think you two have a future.
If he gets bored after a couple of days, or goes off you when he realises he has to work for you, then his apology isn't worth the paper it's written on, and I suggest you forget him as quickly as he forgot you. Because out there, somewhere, is someone wo is willing to fight for you.
I would do it, but I only have tiny frog arms, and they are no good in a fight.
With love,
Wendy The Hard To Get Frog.

No comments:

Post a Comment