Monday, 7 March 2011

Where Have All The Good Men Gone?

My goodness ladies, you're an unhopeful lot at the moment! We need an optimism injection!
Here is my latest email:

"Dearest Wendy,

Long time reader, first time writer -

I am loosing faith in the male species. I used to be fairly optimistic about Love etc however over the last 6 months I am quickly being driven crazy by the men in my life. It seems that there are only 2 kinds around. The ones who would be perfect (funny, charming, easy to talk to, great and comfortable to be around) if it weren't for their girlfriends (obviously I have morals so I leave them well alone!) or the second kind who all seem to be one particular nationality and cause me nothing but sleepless nights (not for the good reason :P) and seem to bring out the worst in me....My main problem is I need faith that there are men out there who are both single and dont fall into the "dickhead" catagory.
Do they exist Wendy? Where do I find them? Will I find one (or am I just a magnet for the wrong ones ) ? Should I give in now to the fact I may become a crazy old spinster living in a house filled with birds (I am not a fan of cats) wearing some sort of hat covered in fruit?

Help Me Wendy, or give me some sort of optimism!
Spinster in training."
Dear Crazy Bird Lady,
Oh dear, you're right aren't you? I mean, you've heard the sayings -
"Men are like parking spaces, all the good ones are taken and the rest are disabled (or too small)"
"Of all the attractive, intelligent, funny, caring men out there, half of them are married and the rest already have boyfriends."
Or my personal favourite -
"Men are like public toilets, if they're not taken, it's because they're full of shit."
But listen, and pay attention, because I'm about to say something controversial. These sayings are not true.
To begin with, there aren't "good men" and "bad men", no more than there ware "good people" and "bad people". Well, I take that back, there are plenty of bad men out there - Hitler for example, or Saddam Hussein. On the good men list you can find people like Ghandi or Bono. (That is a hilarious joke by the way) But the majority of men, and people in general, fall into the middley grey area. Sometimes we are good, sometimes we are not so good. We all get angry, we all laugh, we all lavish attention on the ones who we love, and we all make mistakes.
And the way we act often depends on the people we're with. Certain people make us act loud and outrageous, others make us want to have quiet nights in, some people make us angry, some people make us happy... And some people bring out the best or worst in us - like you said.
I am of the firm opinion that people change. A man can be a class A tool, but if he meets the right girl, he can become a perfect boyfriend. I've seen it happen! My point is, that when a man is with the right woman, he seems perfect, because she brings out the best in him. He does good things, because he wants to make her happy. And it's the same the other way round! If you love someone, you're the best version of yourself with them.
So, again, somewhat controversially, if a guy who has a reputation for being a dickhead starts to show an interest, I say don't dismiss him immediately. Of course, if he then proves his reputation for dickheadery, please head for the nearest emergency exit. But if he treats you well, remember a leopard can change his spots!
A very good example: You know Greg? Our hero? That guy who wrote those amazing books? He admits that he did terrible things, like disappear, or not call, or treat girls badly. But when he met his wife, he stopped being a jackass, and became the man we know and love.
So, what is my optimism for you today? The world is full of good men, or at least men who are better than Hitler. They are all full of the potential not to be idiots, as long as you don't let them be idiots towards you! And one day, I fully believe (as previously mentioned in yesterday's post) that the law of averages dictates that you will find someone who brings out the very best in you. And likewise, you will bring out the very best in him - and people will point at the two of you and say "I wish I had a boyfriend like that! All the good men are taken!! Whyyyy?".
So please, put down the fruity hat. It doesn't suit you.
With love,
A Slightly Rambling Wendy.
It just occurs to me that my response maybe doesn't actually answer your question! What do you think crazy bird lady? Feel free to email and demand a more concise report!


  1. Hi Wendy!How are you today?
    I have a really big problem.
    My friend J (I don't want to write her name because she's really famous in the UK) lives really far away from me.
    And I miss her so much!!!!!!!!! ♥
    What can I doooo!!!!!!??????
    Should I continue saving money to visit her probably in 2020??????????

    E, from Argentina (I'm famous here too)

  2. Fuck.... I didn't know that my picture with my name would be on the post.... =(